Foolish

The silent night whispered to me,

What hath really happened to me,

You are different now more than ever,

Don't cry my dear,

Please don't,

each drop,

will bring tears to heaven and earth.

20th of December 2009,

I got a wake up call,

from someone that meant the world to me,

He said "moving on slowly i have.."

That really broke me down.

I feel empty now,

I feel all alone,

I feel sorrow,

Now i feel i am back in square one.

What am i supposed to do?

Follow your heart it said,

and never be sad for the outcome,

You know your capabilities,

Because those who don't appreciate you,

will regret it one day..

when it is already too late...

Now...

You are the person,

who lit me up,

You are the person,

who meant the world to me,

You are the person,

i fell in love with,

when i met you here in Malaysia.

Now..

You are a person,

different than before,

You are a person,

who made me feel lost,

You are the person,

That i have not fallen in love with.

Now..

Who are you?

You are different,

You are different,

since you've gone back..

rope

Joke,

Joke,

Joke,

That's how i feel now,

A total joke in your eyes.

You contact,

You don't,

You SMS,

You don't,

Just do as you please.

As if i have no feelings.

You came and you saved me,

Like an angel with a rope,

to salvage me from sorrow,

but then,

You cut me down.

Have you no feelings?

Have you no mercy?

What are you trying to do?

Hate me, love me,

But do with honor,

and have the guts to tell me,

as a man,

and in my face,

WHO AM I TO YOU NOW?

A lie..

As cupid you came,

To save and salvage me,

I thank you,

I appreciate you.

But one thing i ask of and hope from you,

Don't lie to me and be honest,

U barely praise me,

U barely still.

You praise strangers,

Strangers that barely know you,

I don't know if they,

appreciate you like i do,

i hope that they do.

But till then,

Please be yourself,

Stop lying to me,

Don't have to say "i'm cute"

whilst you say that to other people too,

For that makes me feel no different,

Like a clown working in a circus.

here

Here by my side,

an angel,

Here by my side,

the devil,

So where do you belong?

or you choose as you go along?

You have decided,

You have made your decision,

It broke my heart,

but better now than never,

But

you got the best of me,

With the messages,

With all the songs you gave,

Said to wait for you,

to take care of myself,

to await for your return,

was i a fool to you?

were you in a fantasy whilst you were here?

Less contacts or non,

you sometime mysteriously disappear,

leaving me worried,

worried and still worried,

as if i am a heartless statue.

When you appear,

everything sounds normal,

as if nothing happened..

You are happy,

i know you are,

because you said so,

so

be a man,

and say it in my face,

that if you hate or want me to go,

or if you are tired of me,

so that i won't put up my hopes.

don't leave me hanging.....

Mysterious call

Ring, ring..

The phone rang...

Grrrr... Brrr...

The phone vibrated

Grrr... Brrr...

He ran towards it,

Who could it be...

Who could it be...

He asked himself

Hello, who is there?... Hello...

There were silence..

A pin dropped silence...

A silence that gave chills to the bones.

Who could this be?

Who's on the other line?

Silence was still there...

I was curious,

Still curious...

I looked on my phone,

With hope to figure out who might it be..

I froze,

What could this mean?

I heard the phone rang..

Could this be a private number?

Could this be that i have a stalker?

what's happening?

I am confused,

What happened?

Then i realized something,

There was a blank screen...

There were no calls received,

There was actually no one,

My phone did not ring,

My phone did not vibrate,

There was nothing...

Nothing except the awkward silence..

Say what?

You say this,

You say that,

You say sorry,

You say it again,

You say you care,

You say it again,

But how much can you appreciate me,

When reality,

i am no more than a mere grain of salt to you?